Archive for January, 2010

Finding the words

I wrote not long ago about finally getting around to making arrangements for Paul’s headstone. At the time, I was maybe a little sad because of the three options I was looking at, I was certain that my first choice would be well out of my price range because it’s so very different from a ‘typical’ headstone in the region – maybe in the nation. With that knowledge, I began to think of the words that would go on the second and third choice stones, both of which would have given me more space than the first choice.


Continue Reading January 27, 2010 at 3:27 pm Leave a comment

Unscented memories

Science has proven time and time again that scents are the biggest human memory triggers. Of course, most of us don’t need to read boring articles in scientific journals to know this to be true because we experience it so often. What I’ve recently learned though is that ‘unscented’ can trigger memories, too.

Continue Reading January 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm Leave a comment

Deleting files

I spent much of my life as a fixer, a pleaser, a rock in the storm. I was always the calm, rational, sane person in my circle of friends. Of course, back then I was operating the tried-and-true Version 2.0. I still have the software for those traits, but it seems that there are glitches with Version 3.0 that make it difficult to run constantly.

Continue Reading January 19, 2010 at 9:41 pm 2 comments

Carrying on

The last few days have been bitter-sweet for me. I’m trying to move forward with life; trying to continue doing all of the things I used to enjoy. And in some ways I’m very happy to be continuing but I’m so very sad at the same time.

Continue Reading January 18, 2010 at 9:35 pm 1 comment

Soothing words

In the hours and days after Paul died I received countless emails, Facebook messages, and sympathy cards. Everywhere I went I was bombarded with the most inane and superficial platitudes. “Time heals all wounds.” “At least he didn’t suffer.” “You’re young; you can start over.” “There will be better days.” “He’s still here with you.” The list goes on.

Continue Reading January 14, 2010 at 4:53 pm Leave a comment


I spend a lot of time here complaining about things that I find upsetting and frustrating, but there are many things that I find comforting and joyful, and some of those things have really helped me to make it through these past months with at least a shred of sanity remaining. Funny, the most comforting of those things is the thing that so many people complain so loudly about: The In-Laws!

Continue Reading January 6, 2010 at 11:58 pm Leave a comment

Emergency contacts

I had my first doctor visit of the new year today as a follow-up after becoming quite ill on Christmas day. Sadly, a new year means new paper work. And new paper work means new answers to old questions. And new answers mean new realizations. It was inevitable, I suppose, that those simple check-boxes would bring tears.

Continue Reading January 4, 2010 at 9:51 pm Leave a comment

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January 2010
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